You know when you're pregnant for the first time and you subscribe to all those web sites that tell you what size fruit your baby is and what is happening to your body that particular week? (If no, then just pretend you know what I'm talking about - or go ask a pregnant friend) Some people like to read ahead and see what size their baby will be and what their symptoms might be in the coming weeks. I never liked to do this. Why? If it told me that the 3rd Tuesday of my second trimester, my left earlobe would itch at 4pm, I'd wonder if it really itched or of I just had it in my head because these crazy baby people told me it may happen. I'd rather just see what happened to me. Everyone is different. Life is an adventure!
Today I started chemo and radiation. You know how many times the word nausea was brought up? I could be nauseous all day every day. I could not be nauseous at all. As I sit here and write this, I feel completely fine....except for the impending doom of nausea. Will I have to stop writing because I'll feel sick in 5 minutes? Will I be sick tonight? Will I feel ok? Will I wake up feeling like crap? The possibilities are endless....and none are definite. While I appreciate the warning, part of me just wants to be surprised. I know that's not a thing. Side effects are a thing. But which ones will happen and when?!? Life is an adventure.
Here is another issue. I haven't had an appetite for months. I normally like to eat. Obviously. It's one of my favorite hobbies. So this no appetite part sucks. If the devil wore red Prada, I guess you could say I'm one battle with cancer away from my goal weight. (Please find that funny. It's funny. I promise cancer wasn't in my original weight loss plan haha) Aaaaanyway, today - on the last day I ever thought this would happen - my appetite mysteriously made a dramatic return. And to celebrate, I ate enough to make up for my weeks of not eating. Really. I may be slightly embarrassed by the amount of food I consumed haha. So here's the dilemma - if I get sick later....will it be because I had chemo today....or will it be because I stuffed my face like it was my last meal? Smart move for Lesley? No, not really. But I have stupid cancer and I get to do stupid things. Life is an adventure.
On another note, a shout out to a cool little dude named Ethan Franks. His mommy was making us some meals for our freezer and he thought we needed some chocolate chip cookies. Ethan is a super smart little boy :)