I tend to put on a strong face and push my way through tough situations - probably more often than I should. I have been having issues with pain since the surgery. At first they said it was a pain expected with the surgery I had. But it wasn't getting any better. I tried so hard to muscle my way through the pain for weeks but my body ended up just giving up. It couldn't be strong anymore.
Thursday morning, before my Roswell appointment, the pain was so bad I had a panic attack. Ever had one of those? It was scary and unexpected. I think it was the point where my body said no more. It was shutting down. The pain meds just weren't working. And I couldn't keep my strong face on anymore.
My pain was confusing to my docs. This wasn't a normal response to the surgery. They wanted to do a special test but it couldn't happen until Friday because it was something that had to be prepped for 24 hours. Because of this and the fact that I couldn't get the pain under control, they admitted me. The next morning we did the test and it came back normal. Which is good but bad at the same time. There was nothing abnormal, but then that leaves us with no answers again.
They decided they weren't going to send me home until we could get the pain under control - to the point where I was comfortable and could handle it on my own. I ended up being set up with the pain management team. The Dream Team! These guys were so thorough with figuring out my pain and explained how different pains have different treatments. I knew with them I'd get the help I needed.
They suspected I have nerve and muscle damage from the surgery. The good news is, they're playing with my meds and getting me on a plan that will help me function like a normal person. This trial and error is why I stayed in the hospital for 5 days. They needed to make sure what they were giving me was going to work. The bad news is, because it's nerve damage, my recovery time has gone from days and weeks to months and years. Nerves take quite a bit of time to heal. Thankfully the meds we're working on will help me return to a functional human while I heal.
So this is my story. I thought I'd feel better by now, but I'll learn to adjust to this new life. My birthday is coming up on Monday and I usually celebrate for the whole month! Instead, I'm going to celebrate this Friday. I'm going to ring the bell at Roswell! My birthday definitely isn't ruined. I'm turning 35 CANCER FREE! That's probably the best birthday gift a girl can get.
If you'd like to celebrate with me, be in the main lobby of Roswell Park at 4pm on Friday as I ring that bell. And dont forget to wear your red shoes!!!
I was able to escape and walk around in the garden while I was there. It's such a pretty space! This is me...in my pajamas.
Family selfie in my room. My favorite visitors.
My hubby and kids brought dinner and we ate together in the garden. Then we watched the kids play. It made my heart very happy.
Baby time is healing time! My sister and nephew came to visit in the garden, too!